theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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