It's Friday. Sex?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
