HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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