Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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