If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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