There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
