The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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