there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
