I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
