I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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