i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
