She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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