i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
