Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
