it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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