he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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