If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
