Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
