It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Damn victory sex feels great
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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