just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
