OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If I die, sorry about rent.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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