And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize