So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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