well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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