im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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