yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
