My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
