I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
