That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she peed on how many people?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
