I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
you made out with another girl for some wings
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
