Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
