I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
