I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
