I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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