how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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