i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
