i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
