I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize