Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
