Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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