Taylor Swift is so right about you.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
