just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
