he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
where does the pee come out of this thing
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
