What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
