if you like me you must not know who I am
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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