Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
