Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
