we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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