Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
