It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
