We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
