I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
