i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
