Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
