Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
