And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
