Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
