can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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