hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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