I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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