You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
