90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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