Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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